Home
Stole this   
02:56am 30/05/2005
  Haha wicked true

Fellow Massholes, you know it to be true:


Information on Boston and the surrounding area:

There's no school on School Street, no court on Court Street, no dock on Dock Square,
no water on Water Street.
Back Bay streets are in alphabetical "oddah": Arlington, Berkeley, Clarendon, Dartmouth, etc.
So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D, etc.
If the streets are named after trees (e.g. Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar), you're on Beacon Hill.
If they're named after poets, you're in Wellesley.
Massachusetts Ave is Mass Ave; Commonwealth Ave is Comm Ave;
South Boston is Southie.
The South End is the South End. East Boston is Eastie.
The North End is east of the former West End.
The West End and Scollay Square are no more; a guy named Rappaport got rid of them one night.
Roxbury is The Burry, Jamaica Plain is J.P.

Definitions:

Frappes have ice cream, milkshakes don't.
If it is fizzy and flavored, it's tonic.
Soda is CLUB SODA.
"Pop" is Dad.
When we want Tonic WATER, we will ask for Tonic WATER.
The smallest beer is a pint.
Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish.
If you paid more than $6/pound, you got scrod.
It's not a water fountain; it's a bubblah.
It's not a trashcan; it's a barrel.
It's not a shopping cart; it's a carriage.
It's not a purse; it's a pockabook.
They're not franks; they're haht dahgs. Franks are money in France.
Police don't drive patrol units or black and whites they drive a "crooza".
If you take the bus, your on the "looza crooza".
It's not a rubber band, it's an elastic.
It's not a traffic circle, it's a rotary.
"Going to the islands" means Martha's Vineyard & Nantucket
If something's good, it's "pissa". If something's really good, it's "wicked pissa".

The Pat's = The Patriots
The Sox = The Red Sox
The C's = The Celtics
The B's = The Bruins

Things not to do:

Don't pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd ... they'll tow it to Meffa (Medford). or Slumaville (Somerville).
Don't sleep in the Common. (Boston Common)
Don't wear Orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day. (unless you have a death wish)

Things you should know:

There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses,
two Hancock buildings (one old, one new for each).
The colored lights on top the old Hancock tell the weatha':
"Solid blue, clear view...."
"Flashing blue, clouds due...."
"Solid red, rain ahead...."
"Flashing red, snow instead...." - (except in summer; flashing red means
the Red Sox game was rained out)
Route 128 is also I-95 south. It's also I-93 north.
The underground train is not a subway. It's the "T", and it doesn't run all
night (fah chrysakes, this ain't Noo Yawk).
Order the "cold tea" in China Town after 2:00 am you'll get a kettle full of beer.

Bostonians... think that it's their God-given right to cut off someone in traffic.
Bostonians...think that there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no R's).
Bostonians...think that three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heat wave.
Bostonians...refer to six inches of snow as a "dusting."
Bostonians...always "bang a left" as soon as the light turns green, and oncoming traffic
always expects it.
Bostonians...say everything in town is "a five-minute walk." "pronounced "wok")
Bostonians...believe that using your turn signal is a sign of weakness.
Bostonians...think that 63-degree ocean water is warm.
Bostonians...think Rhode Island accents are annoying.

How to say these Massachusetts city names correctly:

Worcester: Wuhsta (or Wistah)
Gloucester: Glawsta
Leicester: Lesta
Woburn: Wooban
Dedham: Dedim (like denim)
Revere: Re-vee-ah
Quincy: Quinzee
Peabody: Peabuddy
Waltham: Walth-ham
Chatham: Chattum
Swampscott: Swamp-scit
New Bedford: Noo Bef-id, Noo Beige
Dartmouth: Dart-mith		  
    Post
 
Theater mania   
11:14pm 30/05/2005
  so at the 3:30 show on saterday
these two guys show up
no idea who they were
usually when people come in and buy tickets we can figure out who they belong to
like hey this is her family or his friends
so we couldn't place these guys
after the show i was standing in the lobby with mark
and the two guys walk up to mark and say that the show was phenominal
then they introduced themselves dean hurley and mike mariano OMG
the writers of the play came to see us
they said they were no where near nashua so they decided to drop by!!!!
They said they have seen the show 6 or 7 times and ours was the best
we were shocked and in awe
damn we shoulda asked for a picture

so the best show was saterday night at 8pm
wow
it was perfect
absolutly nothing went wrong
everyone especially us senuiors had the attitude that hey this was our last show
go big or go home
it was spectacular
i cannot wait to see the video

so atthe end of the show
we do our lil speeches and stuff
i normally do it
spent the whole day writing my speeches and i didn't even read em and i didn't even say half of what i wanted to
so i did the whole we thank these departments and these people for giving us money other wise we wouldn't have had the theater
then i did the kim speech
dragged her up in front of everyone
told her id never pass up the oppertunity to embaress her
so i thanked her for coming back to play with us and pointed out allt he work she did for us
then i had to do the directors speeches
i told nina and mark they did an awsome job acting and directing not an easy job
then i told nina she did a good job attempting to keep us on task when it didn't usually work
told mark he was an awsome director when he was actually on task which was almost never
so everyone laughed
then i said something like i wanted to aknowledge the seniors graduating with me
so i told rev he was a phenominal actor because he is and he better act up in bangor cuz i was comin to see him
told mark he was awsome one of my best friends and taught me a shitload i wa slike hey i can build a wall so we all turn and look at the wall and mark was like well kinda
didn't say much about steph just said like thanks for being my roomie
uh so then nina and joselyne acknowledged jackie for taking the part of katherine on the tuesday of production week
then her and joselyne read the poem footprints
and did a lil speech about us seniors
by the time she was done rev mark steph and i were crying
then mark had to say thank you for coming and have a good night one last time it was sad
so we're all in the lobby and my sis forgot to buy me flwoers so she gave me a picture she drew of flowers so joselyne gave me one of her real flowers that she had gotten from her family
then i was sittin there bawling my eyes out in the lobby with everyone
and laura (rev's wife) comes up to me and says she got me a present thats sure to make me smile i'm like what tha fuck
so she makes me close my eyes and open my hand and she hands me an unused tampon
well she was right i definetly laughed
so then rev joselyne nina and mark are all sitting in the theater crying
i was totally fine
i walk in look at them and say oh we're crying again?
they knod yes
so i burst into tears and cry with them
we did that for awhile
the freshman come in and sing i will remember you to us
so we cry more
rev is so upset and he gets physically ill
so people take turns consoling him upstairs
i decide to destroy stuff i mean we did have to strike the set
so i take the supprt down for the flat thats hanging from the ceiling
then mark was like no go start from the other side
i was like but i already took the support down
so bah i listen and i go to the other side
so i'm trying to get the first top flat down and it won't come down
so mark climbs up on the ladder with me so i figure we're gonna fall and die
heights suck
so he climbs down
i realize i left a screw in which is why it won't come down
so i take the screw out and the flat falls the wrong way comes down on myhead
i try to block it with my arm and i cut my elbow kinda bad
so i push it the other way well kinda threw it actually
so it lands wrong and breaks
so i start on the next one and the whole top of the wall which is about 3 flats falls on my head
so kat runs up the other ladder and grabs it and helps me hold it up
so we're standing there holding it neither one of us can let go
so i'm screaming for mark cuz i have no idea what to do
he doesn't respond cuz he is upstairs consoling rev
so i'm like hmm ok gotta solve this myself
i ask kat if shes out of the way she says mostly
i was like no not mostly i want yes or no
so she says yes but the ladder is in the way
i say ok on the count of three let go
one two three
i push the wall over
as soon as i let go it clicks
the ladder is in the way
but by that time it was too late
so the wall falls hits the ladder almost knocks it over thank god it didn't
so i break 2 more flats
so two are stuck together
the 2 screws holding them together are striped
so steve and jen hold the flat and i try kicking and kicking it to get it apart
well then steve is like hey lemme try
so he kicks it and breaks the flat BUT they are still stuck together
so i'm like mark why do you let me do things
so rev leaves
mark and i take the uhaul and drop off a load at school
and then we come back sit in the theater and just stare at the wall and cry
mike the light guy and jackie sit with us
and jackie is like why are we staring at a black wall
and mike was like jackie you and i are the only ones who see a black wall
which was true
we saw every set we ever buitl and all the stupid shit that happened
like nick with his ass sticking out of the fire place for barnaby
the mood suit for marty that rev wore in june groom
mark and rev making us cry doing a love scene from teach me hot to cry
jen falling on her face and rev flipping the couch from the marley show
then we all went home and cried ourselves to sleep
bah so painful
theater was our lives
it shall be greatly missed		  
    Post
 
  jaydavid
 
 
days  
 
 

Advertisement